I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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