Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
