it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
