In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
