i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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