Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize