It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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