so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
