i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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