butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Blood and glitter go together right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
