I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
