Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
