Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
