i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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