and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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