I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
