She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
FUCK WHALES
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