I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
