Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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