I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
