I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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