I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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