I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
