I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
