But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
