gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Come see our sink grown plant.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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