Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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