dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
