i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
