Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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