yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
