onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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