your parents love me but you hate me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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