he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
