You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Randomize
