First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
