butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize