Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You were trust falling into bushes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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