i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
