went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Boobs are out for the taking
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
