Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
