i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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