Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
false alarm. still invincible.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
