I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
two words...techno handjob
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
