Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
