It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
