Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
