why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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