i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We got so high we made milksteak
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
