im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
