Come see our sink grown plant.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
