We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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