Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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