my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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