he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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