He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
