it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
