meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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