I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
