Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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