i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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