This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
