she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
there was a trapeze. enough said
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
