its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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