i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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